


Laughing Down Crying

by Fanofthearts



Category: Holby City
Genre: Angst to Fluff, F/F, Grief/Mourning, laughing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-15 21:05:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18080888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanofthearts/pseuds/Fanofthearts
Summary: Bernie laughs





	Laughing Down Crying

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you as always to Iordio who makes my words shine brighter.

The first time it happened was the second night they had shared a bed as more than friends. It had been blissful, naked limbs tangled together, bodies slowly cooling, drifting in and out of sleep before Morpheus had called them completely into his realm.

Later, much later, a noise startled Serena awake making her jump. Her eyes blinked open, scanning the room for the cause. She scrambled upright, her legs still tangled with Bernie’s. 

Her heart raced as her ears tried to figure out exactly what had woken her. The house was silent as she willed her racing heart to calm down looking over at her love, soundly asleep.  
Bernie’s face was the picture of serenity, her mouth slightly open, breath coming out in a soft snore. It was the most relaxed she had ever seen her. Her fingers reached out to push a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. A small smile pulled at her lips when Bernie nuzzled into her hand. 

Just as she laid back down about to drift off a loud bark like noise made her eyes fly open again. She looked over to the woman lying next to her and stared in disbelief as Bernie let out another bark of laughter. Serena couldn’t help but giggle as she watched the woman next to her laugh in her sleep.

Serena tried to control herself but the giggles took, her hand clamping over her mouth. Hazy brown eyes cracked opened and squinted at blearily at her. “Serena?”

The brunette looked over at her and couldn’t help but start up again at the confused expression on for lovers face.

“It’s three in the morning,” she glanced at the clock, “Why are you laughing?”

The innocent confusion on Bernie face only made Serena laugh harder. “Well, you’re one to talk.”

Bernie just stared at her in bewilderment before pulling Serena closer to her. “Mmmhmmm, shhhh.” She nuzzled her face into Serena’s neck, her fingers going to her hair. “Go back to sleep.”

Every time they were together it happened, around the same time of night Bernie would wake her laughing. Some nights it was a full honk, other nights were only chuckles and pleasing giggles.

Serena grew to ignore it and soon enough found it endearing; a warmth spreading through her knowing the Bernie was happy. No matter how often it happened, Bernie would never believe Serena. 

After Elinor passed away, Bernie stopped laughing in her sleep. Serena would lie for hours staring into the blackness, or sometimes staring at her partner. Now, even in her sleep, Bernie’s face wore signs of stress and worry. Her brow wrinkled, her nose scrunched in frustration, her hand always protectively resting on Serena’s hip but she never laughed.

After a while it became one of those things a person could forget had even happened. Weeks turned into months, time did not make it easier. Some nights Serena asked Bernie to sleep in the spare room when she needed time alone. Her mind full of dark thoughts and panic. Even though she wasn’t next to her having Bernie down the hall made her slightly reassured. 

Finally Serena left.

Months later Serena tentatively asked Bernie over the phone if she would please come to see her in Avignon. She had reached a point where she had begun to accept that the grief and guilt were something she would have to live with every day. It was a large heavy load upon her shoulders but she was slowly becoming accustomed to the weight. 

The second she saw Bernie step off the train part of the weight that had sat on her chest eased. Seeing Bernie’s face split into a wide grin as they sat watching the sunset from her cottage was a balm on a wound she didn’t know she bared. The first night they were together they held each other close. Serena wasn’t quite ready to go further than skin on skin but it was wondrous feeling.

Around three in the morning Serena’s eyes flew open in panic and her heart raced. She had assumed she was over the nightmares, it had been a few weeks since she her last one. She didn’t feel sweaty or clammy like she usually did, instead she felt like something was out of place. Her eyes drifted down to Bernie. Her love, her best friend. Her face was smooth in sleep and the worry lines she had become accustomed to seeing were nowhere in sight.

Laying back down she curled into Bernie assuming it was a dog barking outside the open windows that had woken her. As her eyes were fluttering closed she heard it again; a bark of laughter. All those months had passed she had almost completely forgotten about Bernie’s happy habit of laughing in her sleep. Her heart swooned and she looked up into her partner’s blissful face and pulled her closer as her eyelids became heavier.


End file.
